I used to get to the end of a busy, hectic day and sink into the couch, my favorite mindless TV flashing on the screen, glass of red wine in hand. I knew I was setting myself up for a rough morning, but I couldn’t stop the hamster wheel of constantly feeling behind and wanting to escape it all for a few indulgent but useless minutes.
When I looked carefully at the direction I was heading, it wasn’t pretty. I felt gross. Exhausted, ashamed, overweight, short-tempered, and just...spent. Each and every day. Here I was--a successful attorney, full-time working mom, perfectionist at heart-- giving away everything I had to everyone else but me. I didn’t even rank on my own priority list.
Where would my health be in 1 year? 5 years?
What would my kids remember about their childhood with me if I was too tired to play?
How could I escape feeling bad in my skin, and like I was failing at achieving the high standards I had set for myself?
It turns out, the answer is simple: Self care.
It turns out, applying the answer is difficult.